remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize