Pappa wants mamma naked
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize