my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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