Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
