you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
