i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Then you guys just all showered together...?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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