So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
