just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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