if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
