Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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