Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
