Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
