went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
