Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
