??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
