i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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