just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
