It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
