there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
