This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
