I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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