Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
