i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
