Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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