I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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