sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
