is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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