Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
