I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
