i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize