I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I need a hoe opinion
go on
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
