You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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