I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
