we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
