I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
