3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
