Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
