hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
