So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize