OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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