Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize