think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
