Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
