one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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