can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize