This is not my ceiling
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize