it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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