plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
