We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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