I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
