if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
