Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
