he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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