How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
