I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
