are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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