Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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