69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
