So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
