if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
