I'm gonna have a badass scar
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You ate ashes out of my bong
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
