do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
