So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
