It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
