The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
sick fucks of a feather flock together
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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