Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
