I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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