Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
