do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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