You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
