Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
