just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
