I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
