all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
