I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
