Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
