Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
