to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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