people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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