I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
