Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
